Elizabeth L. âBizzyâ Chance, CRS, is the founder and owner of Busy Living SoberTM, a network dedicated to bringing addiction out of the shadows and educating society that addiction is a disease, not who you are. She is a leading expert in the field of recovery management, widely known for her work as a consultant, family coach, and her social media presence.
Elizabeth earned her certification as a Certified Recovery Specialist (CRS) from the state of Pennsylvania. She is a graduate of George Washington University with a degree in communications, and her work experience includes time at QVC and CBS Television.
Elizabeth is in long-term recovery herself over a decade. Hence, she feels able to form a compassionate and meaningful bond with addicts. She has always gravitated towards anyone new to recovery because of her own personal story, which gives her an innate sense for helping them achieve and maintain recovery.
Busy Living SoberTM is to eliminate the shame of addiction through open and honest communication.
Elizabeth currently resides in Wayne, Pennsylvania with her husband and three teenage children.
“The definition of addiction is the inability to control oneâs use over a substance.â
My friends say our worries & fears come from the not-so-helpful âcommittee in my head.â I call those negative voices âwhispered lies.â
For instance, for too many years I believed âIf I want to be liked, I must look good.â This whispered lie made me constantly worried about my appearance and behavior.
A few more examples include:
âIâll never have enough money.â
âI always sabotage my success.â
âRelationships just donât work for me.â
âWe could all be happy if only Dad would stop drinking.â
Although many of our whispered lies concern ourselves, they often focus on our children, spouses, friends, or relativesâfor instance, the last example about the fatherâs drinking.
Other distressing beliefs involve institutions, as in âIf the government would just change this policy, weâd all be better off.â
Even though it might be true that Dad ought to stop drinking or the government should make changes, these events have no control over your own happiness.
You can find peace of mind under any circumstance because youâre in charge of what you think about.
Most of our worries are fueled by false stories installed into our minds long ago, just waiting for opportunities to be confirmed.
Wayne Dyer wrote that everything our brain âknowsâ is based on past experiences. Therefore, when an event resemblesâeven in a small wayâan old painful one, our mind interprets the new event according to the long-standing negative belief.
Since most whispered lies live largely in our subconscious, weâre often unaware of them.
To illustrate the power of my own ânegative committeeâsâ lies, consider why I failed at romantic love so many times during my twenties and thirties. I wanted to believe that love was possible for me, but my past had taught me the lie âIâm not worthy of love.â
This belief lived so strongly in my mind that, even when a man loved me deeply, I couldnât believe it was true. After several months, I would become convinced that he wasnât fulfilling my needs. These worries made me so demanding that I soon snuffed out all the happiness and joy of new love. When it ended, Iâd tell myself, âI just donât deserve love!â
Until I got honest and started healing my faulty thinking, I had no hope of enjoying a happy relationship. Iâm so grateful for the therapy, recovery, psychological strategies, and spiritual tools that gave me freedom from my false beliefs.
As a result Iâm a pretty happy camper most days â AND Iâve been happily married for 31 years. So what if itâs my 4th husband??? Heâs fabulous!
To learn how to win independence from your own committeeâs whispered lies, check out my award-winning book 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (Amazon 5 stars), Audiobook, and Ebook HERE https://GigiLanger.com/buy/
God, I offer myself to Theeâto build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witnessto those I would help ofThy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.Â
May I do Thy will always.
Note that Iâve highlighted the second sentence because this simple request has completely transformed me from a fearful, addicted woman to the peaceful, happy person I am today.
So, letâs pick it apart, shall we? Â Â
RELIEVE ME OF THE BONDAGE OF SELF
What does the âbondage of selfâ look like? Itâs the fear-driven self run amok, perpetually seeking love and security in all the wrong places. It wages a constant battle of self-sufficiency, all while crying, âI shall manage.â This âme, myself, and Iâ thinks it has everything handled, but it keeps failing, especially in relationships.
Faced with failure, it just keeps trying harder and harder to control people, places, and things. Such a mind suffers from the delusion that, if everything were different, it could finally be happy.
When in the grip of the bondage of self, we are often
angry and judging
dishonest (to ourselves and others)
selfish and inconsiderate
greedy for material and emotional security
unable to take responsibility for our actions (often blaming others)
Many refer to this driving fear as the âegoâ because it âeases God out.â In short, the egoâs bondage of self shuts out higher powerâs loveâbut only until we wake up and ask God to change our perspective.
THAT I MAY BETTER DO THY WILL
So, whatâs Godâs will, anyway? I believe itâs to love God and one another. Unfortunately, when the egoâs in charge, weâre anything but loving. And we certainly arenât peacefulâthe one state in which our minds are most receptive to inspiration and generosity.
When we notice ourselves bound by worry, fear, condemnation, and anger, we can ask our higher power to take over our minds. For example, when reading the news, I often become scared about my own safety. If Iâm clear and honest with myself, I admit that Iâm disturbed, and then simply ask, âHelp me to see this differently.â Â
Because our minds love to focus on the negative, I need to make this request quite often; but eventually, I find my body and mind at peace. As the bondage of fear is released, my spirit opens to giving and receiving loving care. As I join with others in growth and service, my life becomes joyous.
But, then something else will scare me, and I’ll feel the fearful self tightening its hold. When I tune in and notice that I’m tense, I can then ask to see things differently. I might say a prayer, meditate, call a trusted friend, or read inspiring lessons. Again, I’ll have to stick with it to recover my peace of mind and again trust spirit’s grace.
Perhaps the only error we make is in resisting the human experience by letting our ego scream âNo!â to whatever we donât like. But, over time, we relinquish our need for control by getting quiet and receiving healing, courage, and comfort.
The more we cultivate this conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves, the more weâre guided to the right attitudes and actions. And soon, we trust that, in spite of appearances, âAll is wellâ in the realm of spirit. What a relief!
In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.9 stars.
Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.
Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the âQueen of Worry,â Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
I recently heard this spiritual message: We need to cast into the âsea of forgetfulnessâ the ego’s creations of self loathing, hatred, and misstepsâbecause none of these represents the goodness of our true nature.
The Sea of Forgetfulness
It’s similar to A Course in Miracles: Nothing is real except love, the perfect truth of Godâs creation. When we cast into the sea of forgetfulness our ego’s self-centered fear, Â dishonesty, worry, and judging of others, weâve claimed the miracle of Love.
For those of us recovering from addictions, these figments of self-will (especially resentments) threaten the fine balance of our spiritual fitness and, thus, our sobriety.
Unfortunately, when we let self-centered fear drive our decisions, weâve elevated our ego, the almighty âI,â to the role of God–a sure recipe for disaster.
Crossing Out The “I” of Ego
Pondering the egoâs fixation on “me, myself, and I” reminds me of these words from a priest in Rumer Godden’s lovely book, In This House of Brede,
âThe cross is âIâ crossed out.â
In this phrase, the cross-bar of Godâs loving power âcrosses outâ the upright post of the âIâ âall that is not love. As a result, we become generous and true to our highest self.
Do you want to live from this true source of love? Then work on rejecting the demands of the âIâ for more security, more prestige, and more power. Instead, try molding your thoughts and dreams to the eternal truth of Godâs will: goodness for all.
Pray, study spiritual teachings, meditate, help othersâin short, become less focused on the âIâ of your own self-seeking ego. You wonât believe the transformation in your life, creativity, and relationships,
In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews: Amazon 4.8 stars.
Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.
Gigi Langer has been sober 34 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the âQueen of Worry,â Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.
