Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

ARE YOUR PLANS MOTIVATED BY DEFENSES OR BY GOD’S WILL?

worry less now defense

I just love A Course in Miracles (ACiM), and I thought these passages from Lesson 135 might be useful for all of us “over-doers” and “over-thinkers.” These ideas help me to let go of my incessant planning, and rely on the “plans” of a power wiser than I am! 

My Summary of Lesson 135: “If I defend myself, I am attacked.” 
Our self-made plans are defenses to keep our body safe. We mistakenly believe that our body is our only reality, and if it is hurt, we cease to exist. So, we must constantly protect it through our own fear-driven efforts.

In truth, we are spiritthe body is merely a communication device while we’re on earth. In each moment, we can release our plans for bodily safety, and instead choose Love’s/God’s will.

Lesson 135: “If I defend myself, I am attacked.” (Excerpts)

 (If you wish, replace “God” “He” “Him” etc. with “Love” or your own name for a Higher Power.) 

What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took.

A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfill the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal that serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.

Your present trust in Him is the defense that promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy that constantly increases, as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality. Let no defenses but your present trust direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth that only your defenses would conceal.

What Happens When We Release Our Defenses?

Without defenses, you become a light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born. Your followers will join their light with yours, and it will be increased until the world is lighted up with joy.

Nothing but that. If there are plans to make, you will be told of them. They may not be the plans you thought were needed, nor indeed the answers to the problems which you thought confronted you. But they are answers to another kind of question, which remains unanswered yet in need of answering until the Answer comes to you at last.

How Do I Present Myself to Spirit?

You give up nothing in these times today when, undefended, you present yourself to your Creator as you really are. He has remembered you. Now is the light of hope reborn in you, for now you come without defense, to learn the part for you within the plan of God. What little plans or magical beliefs can still have value, when you have received your function from the Voice for God Himself?

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. DOES THIS RING TRUE FOR YOU? OR DO YOU SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY?

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE

worry less now gigi langer

ABOUT LIFE: A CHRISTMAS LETTER FROM LOVE

My friend, Maureen Power added this reading to her 1990 recording of A Course in Miracles workbook lesson titles. I’ve been unable to find its source.

But, reading it has changed my life. I hope you too find inspiration in these words.

With deep Love from Gigi Langer, December 2021

“So dear are you to me. I see you struggle and let go, struggle, and let go again.

“And that is the dance of life. Seek not to end the dance. The earthly dance moves from ballroom to ballroom, from dance floor to dance floor. The cosmic dance moves from era to era. But the dance must continue until all the music has been heard. 

“You learn the dance of prosperity and the dance of scarcity, until you realize that all the dances are the same. You move to the rhythm, sway to the beat. You pause to start again. You feel the heartbeat of the music until your heart and the beat of the music are one. Then that dance is over.

“Worry not, my child. All earthly experiences teach only one thing: That you are a child of a loving God who punishes you not. You’ve elected to learn these lessons so that you can be free. You can’t be free until you have faced, and then walked through, your worst fear. What your worst fear is changes from time to time. 

“Walking through your worst fear transforms it into an old meaningless fear. Then a new worst fear will come to take its place. Call the fear poverty, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, death, meaninglessness, or helplessness. Walk through them you will, until they are all gone. 

“What you forget is that you don’t have to walk through them alone. I am here and will walk through them with you. Trust me, my child. Ask not that any specific burden be lifted. Ask instead for my presence to walk through with you. We are simply rendering the barriers to love harmless by walking through them together. 

“The human experience provides all these lessons to all who walk through them. You walk through them with pain and sorrow if you choose to do it alone. Or you walk through them with peace and joy if you take me along. 

“Ask me to guide you. Ask me not to solve what you perceive as your problems. What you perceive as problems are dreams, and dreams are not real. Practice fearlessness, my child. Turn over all your fears to me. My way will lead you to discover the light which is already within you. 

“The thoughts of the mind are undisciplined, but the mind is at home in the heart of God. Call to me dear soul. When you call from the part of your heart that knows we are together still, I will be there, and you will be here in an instant. 

“Peace and joy to you, dear one. Only joy and peace are eternal. All else is illusion. You have been to joy and peace, and you do know the truth. Ask me to remember, and I will. Peace. Peace. Peace.”

Source Unknown. My friend, Maureen Power added this reading to her recording of A Course in Miracles workbook lesson titles. I’ve been unable to find its source. Perhaps you can? If so, please send it to me at glanger2202@gmail.com. Thanks!

In the meantime, please let its loving message bring you peace and joy every time you read it.

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Worry Less Now Cover

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

WHEN LIFE IS SCARING THE S*** OUT OF US!

For the past two months, my dear Peter has been quite ill. You may remember that he’s my fourth husband, after many failures due to codependence and substance abuse. I’ve now had the blessing of 32 ½ happy years with a caring, responsible, and extremely fun partner.

   I love him dearly and am grateful for every day together. Don’t get me wrong, though; I haven’t made him into my higher power as I did with so many other men. No, I stand in the strength of spirit, and we hold hands as we meet life’s adventures together.
   So, in this latest adventure, we recently learned that Peter has significant heart disease; and then yesterday, he had all the signs of a heart attack! So went to the ER, and they kept him at the hospital overnight. YIKES!
     So, how do we handle things that are scaring the shit out of us? A well-worn statement from Alanon is: The more we talk about the problem, the less we focus on the solution. So, let’s get to the solutions:

  • focusing on love rather than fear,
  • not numbing my feelings, and
  • clinging to strong supportive friends.

Not Scaring Myself: Choosing Love 

Thank God, I recently signed up for Carol Howe’s short daily recordings of ACIM  (A Course in Miracles) lessons. ACIM teaches us over and over that our fearful, self-centered mind (ego) causes our upsets because it always “thinks” something is keeping us from getting what we want. For example, my fearful voice was crying, “Will I be left alone? Can I handle Peter’s declining health?”
   You can see these are all ego-questions about “me, myself, and I.” But these imaginings are only projections of past pain onto the future. They have nothing to do with the truth. 
My only path to peace is to reject the ego’s lies and focus on Love. So, I chose new thoughts: ”I will not see this situation through fear; I see it only through Love. Nothing can separate me from goodness; and the same goes for Peter. All is well.”

Staying Present with Support                                                          

During my tough times, I have two non-negotiables:

  1. I mustn’t consistently numb myself out with drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, or overactivity. I sure did eat a lot of sugar this week; and I’ve been known to veg out in front of movies to soften the blow of fear. But I don’t do this for long, and I continue my footwork. If I go for days with self-numbing and no positive self-care, I am in trouble and need help.
  2. I must reach out for support from friends on a similar growth path. This is not usually a family member or romantic interest; and it’s not someone who judges or tries to fix me. Most of my support buddies are healthy, sober women.

Your Prayers Rock!

So yesterday, I sent out a call for prayer and support from my recovery buddies, and WOW! did they ever pull through! I got so many sweet, comforting texts (Some who sent them are reading this, and I thank you SO much!)
      Here’s one example from my dear friend, Eileen, who sent this request to Rosary Circle, Carolyn Myss’ prayer community: 
“Please pray for Peter, the husband of my dear friend, Gigi. Peter has been ill for a couple of months with influenza B and was recently diagnosed with heart disease. Please visualize Peter eagerly learning about cardiovascular disease and embracing the dietary and lifestyle changes that will improve his health. Pray that he finds educational resources that fit his needs and budget, that he experiences hope and that he feels the love of family and friends. Bless Gigi as she supports Peter and bless his caregivers as they develop an effective and efficient plan to monitor and treat him. We gratefully anticipate Peter’s return to health that he may use his life to serve you.”   Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is done!   

The Good News

Tonight we came home from the ER with a good report: Altho’ Peter has heart disease, he has not had a heart attack, and he passed the stress test quite well! (He does still have Influenza B even though we had flu shots). But, there is so much to be grateful for.
    I am so glad I’ve learned to keep my serenity bank full by praying, meditating, and joining with my friends in AA, Alanon, and ACIM. When the scary times hit, I can call on that reserve to help us through it with trust and calm. 

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Worry Less Now Cover

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)



THE DIVINE SPARK!

Happiness comes from the divine spark within each of us.

“Many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we’re happy . . . On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we’re worthy and believing we are worthy . . . [require] only a simple change in perspective. It’s looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There’s no mystery to it. “  from A Life of My Own by Karen Casey


Karen Casey is one of my favorite writers. When I got sober, her daily meditation book, Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden), saved my life by putting healthy, hopeful thoughts into my mind. And, did I ever need them!

I had grown up totally unaware of the pure goodness that I had inside me. It was covered up by sadness, feeling less than others, a sense of insecurity, guilt from my crazy home-life, and shame over my sexual behavior.

Looking in All the Wrong Places

I was constantly seeking something outside of myself to fill up the hole of insecurity gnawing inside me. Unaware of my true worth, I tried to imitate others who seemed happy. I copied their “outsides,” hoping I could fix my “insides.” I pretended to be to be smart, well-mannered, friendly, and happy–I was willing to do anything for love and acceptance. 

But none of it really worked; it left me frustrated, alone, and enraged (even though it took years to admit it). When I discovered that booze and marijuana could erase the pain of life, I was quite relieved–but only temporarily.

Eventually, even that didn’t work. My failed relationships and divorces piled up at the same rate as my degrees. When I realized how broken I was, I finally sought help. 

The Solutions

As I walked through the doors of my first 12-step meeting, I could feel people responding to me as if I was already worthy of love. Although I couldn’t really believe it, I clung desperately to that possibility.

Over time, I followed their suggestions, found a sponsor who loved and guided me, and awoke to the divine spark of love within (and surrounding me). It’s now been over 35 years since I walked into that first meeting, and it has given me everything I have ever wanted. 

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

Worry Less Now Cover

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)