Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

GRIEVANCES BE GONE! Give up judgment to find love and connection

worry less now

Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attack—block us from happiness and serenity.

“Well I don’t DO those things,”

You might think this, and you’re probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we don’t constantly judge others’ words and actions? Of course we do.

It sounds like this: “If I were him, I wouldn’t do that.” “Why can’t she just get along with us? What’s wrong with her?” “They should not be doing that; they’re corrupt.”

The Problem with Grievances

Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that we’re focusing on the negative rather than the positive.

When we choose to hold a grievance, we can’t see the other person’s true self—the purity of their spirit. Further, if we can’t see the goodness in them, we can’t claim it for ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; it’s that simple.

Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habits—a dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.

The good news is that I’ve found so many ways to escape my mind’s tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, “Worry Less Now,” and in my blog.

How to Overcome A Grievance

Here’s a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, “Let miracles replace all grievances,” from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their “weaknesses,” and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of love—“Let your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.”  Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.

I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this person’s spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was “wrong,” and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.

The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.

I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?

Worry Less Now Cover

Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. 

Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and NobleAmazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors. 

HOW EASY IS IT FOR YOU TO RECEIVE CARE FROM OTHERS?

receive care worry less nowHow easily can you receive care from from others?  This question stopped me in my tracks when I read it in The Answer Is Simple: Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! by spiritual teacher Sonia Choquette.

Surely, I thought, that wasn’t a problem for me! I had allowed plenty of men to “take care” of me–but only when I was in control of the payoff. The rest of the time, I was fiercely self-sufficient.

When I considered that I could receive care from other people, with NO strings attached, I could barely fathom it. I had always felt church and other organizations only welcomed me because they wanted my money or time.

Further, I didn’t feel I deserved such generous attention. My alcoholic home had taught me I wasn’t worth someone’s care or love; and that being a care-giver was safer than expecting it from another.

So, it’s not surprising that when I first went to 12-step programs, I was hesitant to accept the support offered by others–especially the women! Up until then, I had always relied on my lover and one female “using buddy.” I had no idea how to interact with healthy women without my old manipulative ways.

But, after months of hearing my recovering friends talk about their loving sponsors, I finally took the plunge and asked someone to be my sponsor. I couldn’t believe it when she said yes and gave me hours and hours of her undivided attention, just so I could stay sober (and she stayed sober too!)

It’s almost impossible to grow spiritually without healthy friends whose main purpose is to do the same. So, if you’re trying to straighten out your life (or keep it sane), you’ll consider this question carefully:
** How willing are you to receive help from others? **

It took me a while, but I’m happy to report that I now count myself rich, knowing that a select group of friends would immediately come to my rescue in any crisis.

To examine your own willingness to receive care from others, take a moment to consider these questions.

1. How easy is it for you to ask others for help?
2. Do you believe you always need to appear strong and competent?
3. Are you most comfortable in the role of helping others?
4. Can you graciously accept healthy loving care regardless of where it comes from?
5. What false beliefs might stand in the way of you being a better receiver?

If you can’t trust others to give you love without expecting something in return, or if you believe you don’t deserve others’ support, I encourage you to let go of this “I am an island” mentality (as in Paul Simon’s song, “I am a rock”). Perhaps counseling, spiritual practices, or other healthy people can help you  accept loving care from others.

For tips on finding healthy friends, read this article. To learn more about overcoming negative, self-limiting thinking so you can enjoy peace, clarity, and connection, see GigiLanger.com.

Gigi Langer Worry Less NowGigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She’s a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home. 

worry less nowOrder her award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now at Amazon or get 20% off with promo code 20lessnow here.

 

CAN A CLOSED HEART CONNECT WITH OTHER HEARTS?

ONE-HEARTEDNESS
by Gigi Langer WorryLessNow

Do you have an open heart or is it closed? How can you open your heart to connecting with others?  

I recorded this 2-minute audio right after an energy-healing Reiki session with Kelly Hine. (That’s why I sound a bit dreamy & dazed at the beginning–that energy stuff is powerful medicine!!)  After listening (or reading), read more about Kelly Hine below.

My 2-Minute Audio about Open-Hearts and Heart-Connections

Listen here (www.lookwide.com/audiopost/n7yN3XOoDL ) to my “Lookwide”  audio; OR, if you prefer, read my words below.

“I just had an ‘ah ha’ about heart-connectedness. For years I’ve been reading about the importance of having an open heart, as opposed to a closed, judging heart.  And I’ve known through A Course in Miracles that it’s important to connect with one another rather than separate. And that joining together brings peace.

“I just did a Reiki session electronically with Kelly Hine, and her main teaching is about connecting with the heart center–‘heart-centered awareness.’

“When she asked us to set an intention, and I set mine that ‘I receive the guidance through my heart connections, the guidance to  know how to reach the people who might benefit from the words I say and write–especially in relation to overcoming negative thinking and worrying less now, as expressed in my book.’

“As I meditated, I had this image of the hearts being separated, and then all our hearts joining into one–combined in one all-encompassing heart of love. And that is what I’m going to put down in a picture . . .”  (Audio stops here: 2 minutes is the limit for “Lookwide.”)

An Open Heart vs. A Closed Heart

After I recorded this, I went to my computer, logged into Canva, and created the graphic. But, looking at it now, I think I might’ve missed something important: Those hearts that appear separated might have rigid isolating borders or permeable, open ones.

A closed heart becomes an open heart as we connect with a source of positive energy that unites us all. And, as we live from that energy, we find ourselves offering love to and receiving love from strangers, friends, and family.  (Of course, I’m referring to healthy loving acts, not those lacking boundaries or with a selfish agenda.)

As our open hearts embrace our power, courage, and kindness, we find ourselves connecting with the loving hearts of others–joined in loving oneness. Through these open-hearted connections, we’re empowered to pursue our dreams and resolve our troubling situations in the most amazing ways.

How Do We Cultivate An Open Heart?

Moving from a closed to an open heart requires desire and commitment. We need to get honest about our state of mind and actions; claim the power of transformation that’s available to each of us; choose to change our lives for the better, and use growth practices such as meditation, prayer, mindfulness, healing the past, therapy, and energy work.

It also helps to join with positive growth-oriented people, and to avoid gossip and other negative energy-sapping activities like excessive partying, over eating, too much shopping, or workaholism.

Find out more about these and other ways to overcome negativity in my other blog posts and in my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection.

What’s your hunch about this? How do we grow from separation and judgment into loving beings, authentically connected with others?

Kelly Hine’s Soul Space 

I’ve had many helpful teachers and guides over the past 30 years, but I have to say, Kelly Hine is the best. She is natural, calm, clear, loving, eclectic, and a gifted teacher of personal growth. To see her in action, check out her FB group, “Soulful Women with Kelly Hine” or her free video series.

But, my favorite way to learn from Kelly is through her Soul Space women’s group where Kelly offers beautiful and inspiring weekly videos with a short talk and a deep guided meditation. Members have access to all of Kelly’s prior videos and meditations; and when you ask a question, Kelly often posts a short video-answer.

PS: “Lookwide” is a relatively new app that’s like an audio version of Twitter: the maximum recording is TWO minutes. Clever!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! (20% discount offer below). Also available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

 

 

 

Facebook Friends: An Author’s Treasure

facebook worry less nowI’m currently in the Facebook penalty box. Have been for almost a week. It’s the second time this month. And, guess what?!  I’m miserable because I miss connecting with my Facebook friends.

I’m the last person I ever thought would become enamored of an electronic “friendship” site.

Up until a year ago, I had used Facebook solely to connect with people I already knew. Now I spend hours every day communicating with many hundreds of like-minded people. And I love it!

Why such a change? As many of you know, eight months ago I published a self-help book to help others overcome negative thinking. It has received positive reviews and won an Indie Excellence award. But, that’s not enough to guarantee sales. A year ago, I began to learn about websites, social media, and other ways to reach people who might buy the book.

Since several marketing blogs suggested making LOTS of Facebook friends, I used my personal account to join about 15 Facebook groups related to recovery, positive thinking, mental health, and spirituality. Whenever I wrote a blog entry, I posted it in these groups. If someone commented or liked it, I sent them a friend request. After a while, I invited them to like my Gigi Langer Author page. And, voila! Suddenly, I had a few thousand friends and followers.

Here’s my big surprise: My Facebook feed, although full of strangers, became a constant stream of loving, positive, caring messages. No more political rants or disparaging remarks.

It was wonderful. But then it wasn’t.

A couple of weeks ago,  I had apparently issued too many friend invitations, so I was shut out for three days. Then this week, they gave me another time-out for posting in too many FB groups in one day. UGH!

So, why am I suffering? Because, I miss my digital friends! After one year, I find I truly care about so many of them. We pray for one another, send encouraging notes, and celebrate our victories during life’s ups and downs. We’ve shared some surprisingly honest, inspiring exchanges.

I had no idea that we could connect at the heart-level through this much-maligned medium. 

Apparently, Mr. Rogers knew it all along; he used TV to do the same thing. According to the recent movie “Won’t You Be My Neighbor,” he often asked his TV audience to spend an entire minute silently thinking about people who had helped them in any way at all—a teacher, friend, grocer, server, relative, mentor, and so on. As the second-hand moves, each of us feels our heart expanding. Soon, we’re immersed in loving connection with others. By the end, everyone’s smiling.

That’s the same way I feel about many of my Facebook friends — connected at the heart. Thank you, Facebook!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites. Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.