According to the Mayo Clinic, people who worry less have better physical health, lower risks of stroke or heart disease, and higher overall survival rates. They also have better emotional health, less depression, more harmonious relationships, and are more equipped to solve lifeâs problems.
We all want such benefits, right? But weâve got to stop worrying so much! FIND YOUR PERSONAL WORRY SCORE AND HELPFUL HINTS BY CLICKING THIS LINK
A life-long habit of overthinking cost me not only my peace of mind; it also fueled my chronic pain, anxiety, perfectionism, and my alcohol and drug abuse.
Even after getting sober and working a rigorous recovery program, I still had a problem with overthinking.
Now, however, I have many powerful ways to calm my mind, and I rarely have anxiety or chronic pain.
You too can overcome your overthinking problem by simply using a few of my favorite tips!
Consistently using any of the practices below will bring stability to your mood and mind.
Practice Gratitude. List five things youâre grateful for. Do this every day for a week, without repeating any item.
Meditate and/or Pray. Use the free app, Insight Timer or other tools. Do this every day for at least 10 minutes. It shrinks the âworry centerâ of the brain.
Exercise, Walk, or Do Yoga. These are proven to increase positive brain chemicals and increase happiness.
Do Something Nice for Someone. Smile at a stranger, compliment a server, or send a friend a loving note.
Take Good Care of Yourself. Be sure you eat well and get enough rest. Especially important, drink plenty of water. Finally, donât use food, alcohol or drugs to deal with stress.
Limit Negative Input. Give yourself permission to turn off negative TV or radio broadcasts. Avoid extended time with negative people.
Become Inspired. Listen to uplifting music or podcasts/radio. Read inspiring books or blogs. Watch a positive movie (for example, âWonât You Be My Neighbor?â about Mr. Rogers).
Because we’re human, we can easily revert to incessant negative thoughts. When this happens, try a few of these tips to get unstuck.
Breathing. Pause, and then slowly breathe in goodness and breathe out the negativity. One easy method involves counting to five as you inhale, pausing, and then slowly breathing out to the count of five. For maximum benefit, repeat this cycle ten times.
Sharing. Talk with a healthy, supportive friend who has a positive attitude toward the world.
Writing. Write down your thoughts and feelings and ask yourself which ones are really true. Ask yourself, “Is this permanent? Is there another way to look at this?” Circle the ones you know are untrue and then “turn them around” as instructed in âThe Workâ by Byron Katie www.thework.com.
Choice. Remember that you have a choice about what fills your mind. Therefore, youâre not a victim of your thoughts. Overthinking and worry can always be replaced with positive, calming images and ideas.
Affirmations. Whenever you notice a thought that is scaring you, substitute a positive, loving thought. Importantly, keep doing that each time the worrying reappears. For instance, “I’ll never get this right” becomes “I am capable of succeeding and will do so.”
Self Compassion. Talk sweetly to yourself. For example, say to yourself exactly what you would say to comfort or encourage a loved one. For more helpful ideas, See Kristin Neff www.SelfCompassion.org.
Therapy. Therapy is extremely helpful, especially EMDR and Energy Tapping.
Sobriety. If you must have more than two regular-sized drinks a day, consider joining a program to quit. Don’t forget that marijuana also adds to negativity!
Turning around overthinking takes constant awareness and practice, but youâll soon reap the benefits: a clearer mind, greater peace, happier relationships, and a general feeling of good will.
I did it, and so can you. Good luck!
Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the âQueen of Worry,â Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.
My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now which describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)
DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS THAT JUST CARRY YOU AWAY AND COLOR YOUR WHOLE WORLD GRAY? Don’t worry! Such feelings are often created by fearful thoughts that arenât even true.
SO, HEREâS THE TRUTH: We donât have the means to make people and things exactly as we want them. We just arenât that powerful.
For example, we live in the wreckage of our future (âIts going to be awful!â) or we create âunenforceable rulesâ (âThis should (or should not happenâ). Often, we try to change the past by thinking how it âcould haveâ been better.
Such thoughts are driven by the fear-driven belief that, if we just think long and hard enough, we can protect ourselves (and our loved ones) from pain and harm.
HEREâS THE GOOD NEWS: We can find peace of mind and contentment in the midst of our fearful feelings and thoughts. Why? BECAUSE WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT FILLS OUR MIND.
HOW? Meditation, walks outside, stretching, yoga, prayer, reading or watching inspiring books/movies, 12-step work, spiritual practices, energy work, and thought-correction can all soothe our most difficult feelings. Good healthy friends or counselors really help too.
When we get still and listen to our inner wisdom (or that of another), we receive the comfort of ACCEPTANCE (non-attachment to specific outcomes). Further, we find ways to address those problems that still bother usâIF they are still bothering us (quite often, theyâve shrunken down to nothing!).
NEXT TIME YOUR FEELINGS are having a hissy fit, stand apart from them for a moment to recognize theyâre mostly a result of inaccurate and disturbing thoughts. Then, ask yourself, âWhat healthy actions can I take to soothe my mind and body?â And then, do that!
PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITE WAYS OF SOOTHING UPSET FEELINGS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THANKS!!
Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the âQueen of Worry,â Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.
My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)
REVIEW by Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) âEven though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didnât think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.â
For example:
According to Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, these “shoulds” are examples of unenforceable rules: They demand an outcome you believe must come true, but over which you have no control. Such inflexible beliefs make us helpless, angry, hurt, hopeless or bitter.
Although holding an unenforceable rule may feel good–even noble–it doesnât mean you can make it happen. In the first example, the daughter should stop using drugs, but no matter how persuasive the motherâs arguments, she doesnât have the power to make her daughter stop.
The mother does, however, have control over her own choices and behavior. She can seek help from a therapist or Al-Anon, and claim a positive power to work in the situation. Then she might choose a goal for how she wants to act and feel, detach from the result, and use growth tools for her own peace of mind, regardless of her daughterâs choices.
One of my own unenforceable rules became clear as I was writing this book. When my mother passed away, I found it difficult to write and became discouraged by my lack of progress.
When I honestly faced the belief that I must complete the book by a certain date, I became willing to see it differently. After using Tool 6, Is It True? I turned my whispered lie around to âI will finish writing the book at the perfect time.â In turn, I became more flexible and kinder with myself.
The essence of happiness is peacefully allowing life to unfold. Nothing becomes a live-or-die situation because you know your loving power is working things out, with results that may far surpass your greatest hopes.
(Excerpt taken from page 56-57 of Gigi Langerâs award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)
Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a seasoned author and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasnât had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she does occasionally overindulge in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels.
Her book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (available HERE in paperback, e-book, & audiobook) has gained rave reviews (4.8 on Amazon) and a publishing award.
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