Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

10 Ways to Be Positive, Like Snoopy!

Happiness Worry Less Now

Want to Be Positive, Like Snoopy and Charlie Brown???

Get over your negative habits so you can be a happy, positive force in your family, work, and world.  Here are some simple ways:

  1. Change “I can’t . . .” to → “Up until now I couldn’t . . .”
  2. Change “I always . . .“ to → “In the past I used to . . .”
  3. Don’t read email first thing in the morning. Instead, meditate, read inspiring words, journal, or pray. (One of my favorites is below.)
  4. Avoid criticism and gossip. Instead look for what’s strong, positive & good about a person or situation.
  5. Resist saying or thinking: “You should.” and “He should (or ought)”. Instead admit that you may not know best & even if you did, it’s not your job to change others.
  6. Avoid excessive drinking or drugging that’s harming your relationships, health, or safety. Instead, get into a recovery program or therapy.
  7. Be a considerate listener. When listening to another, don’t think of what you’ll say next & then respond with your own story or advice. Instead, listen with all of your mind & heart. Try to understand what the person is saying by asking for clarification, e.g., “ You mentioned (…). Tell me more about that. What was that like for you?” Listen & then probe for more detail. Talk less. Listen more.
  8. Offer smiles & random acts of kindness to neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers. You’ll feel great and so will they!
  9. Use the Loving-Kindness Practice often. Buddhists call this practice metta; it calms your mind, opens your heart to goodness and love, and helps you know the positive power within your true self. The practice also asks for the healing of your fears, worries, and negative thinking so you can serve others’ growth.

a. Read the words aloud, pause, and then read them again.

May I be at peace. May my heart remain open.

May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.

May I be healed. May I be a source of healing for all beings.”

b. With one or more of your loved ones in mind, say the prayer again changing I to you: “May you be at peace. May your heart . . .”

c. Next, change you to we: “May we be at peace . . .”

d. Now, think of a person who is causing you worry, frustration, or pain. Use the “May you . . .” version of the prayer for this person.

Whenever you want to change a negative thought to a positive one, repeat the phrases of loving-kindness and notice how you begin to respond differently:  Patient, kind, and positive!

10. For more ideas about becoming more positive, see my award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, & e-book vendors) and the blog on this site.

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer, PhD has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She’s written several books for educators, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader.  Gigi holds a doctorate in Psychology in Education,  and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.

HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEARS

overcome fears worry less now

Someone emailed me recently wanting to know how to overcome their fears.

Wow! That’s just the kind of question I love–because I’ve spent a lifetime trying to conquer my own fears, and I’ve found many helpful strategies and solutions.

First,  you’ll need to get honest about current habits that may be contributing to your fears and negativity. Overindulging in spending, eating, partying, mind-altering substances, or unhealthy relationships causes fear, shame, depression, and negativity. Get help to overcome your energy-draining choices so you can make better ones.

Now that you’re ready to change your reactions to the people and situations around you, know this ONE THING:  You can choose whether to be positive & courageous OR negative & afraid.  It will take awareness & practice. But you CAN do it.

Both my own experience and  scientific research support each of these strategies for overcoming fear, anxiety, and worry.

GRATITUDE. Want what you already have. Appreciate what’s already in your life rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Cultivate gratitude for the simple things (eyesight, shelter, friends, etc.) and stop to appreciate beauty, music, nature. Do this often.

COMPASSION. Avoid judging others. Be a strength-finder rather than a fault-finder. When you judge another negatively, stop yourself and then realize the person may have something going on that you don’t know about. Look beyond their behavior or appearance and focus on the goodness inside of them — in their best self.

SELF-JUDGEMENT. Avoid judging yourself negatively. Instead, cultivate self-compassion. When things are tough, give yourself a break. Don’t beat yourself up for not handling things better. Talk to yourself like you would a dear little sister or brother — with patience & gentleness. That said, don’t linger in self-pity. (For more on this topic, I recommend Kristin Neff’s book & meditations on self-compassion)

KINDNESS. Do something to brighten someone’s day. Smile, ask how they are, listen attentively, or let them go ahead of you in line. When you contribute to someone else’s well-being, you escape your self-centered worry. Try helping out a neighbor or friend. It’s a sure way to lift your spirits (as long as you’re not trying to change them; but that’s a whole different blog!).

INTERPERSONAL DRAMA. Avoid Gossip. Limit or cut off contact with people who drag you down. Hang with positive people who are growing and succeeding in life. Don’t try to overcome your fear alone. When you do have a conflict, do not try to resolve it via text or email; meet face-to-face after you’ve taken a day or two to simmer down.

— USE THESE FEAR-BUSTERS DAILY. Meditate, get enough sleep, walk regularly, and offer as many smiles and acts of kindness to others as you can. Keep up your gratitude practice, and replace critical thoughts with loving ones. Soon, you’ll be amazed by how happy you are!

Take GOOD care of yourself. You’re the only one who CAN.

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer
From me to you!

Gigi Langer holds an MA in Psychology and PhD in Psychological Studies in Education, both from Stanford. She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection (February, 2018), available in e-book formats and in print from Amazon.  

“Langer’s frank and empathetic tone will comfort readers, as will the practical steps she teaches.” (Featured Book, BookLife by Publishers Weekly)     “Her honesty will blow you away! It is beautifully written; filled with humor and authenticity.” (Member of Al Anon)