Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

NEW VIDEO plus Principle 2 of Attitudinal Healing

NEW VIDEO!

Click on the red arrow below to watch “How to Grow Spiritually” –recorded last week by the wonderful women at Abington Episcopal Church, VA.  Learn how to change from a negative-thinking “Closed-Hearted Person” to an “Open-Hearted Person” who can easily Love yourself and others. Gain serenity, happy relationships, and fulfill your life purpose. All included in Love More Now (and much influenced by Attitudinal Healing!).

ATTITUDINAL HEALING CONTINUED

“It is not other people or situations that cause us to be upset. Rather, it is our own thoughts and attitudes about those things that are responsible for our distress.”

In my recent blog posts and newsletters I’ve been introducing the principles of Attitudinal Healing (AH).  Jerry Jampolsky, one of the early readers of A Course in Miracles, simplified its complex lessons into the 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing. As a child and adult psychiatrist, he first began applying them with children facing terminal illness. Soon the AH groups grew into a worldwide service that can be applied to almost any difficulty. 

In my March 2nd blog, I summarized Principle 1. The Essence of our Being is Love, and Love is Eternal. “Love cannot be hindered by what is merely physical. Therefore, we believe the mind has no limits and nothing is impossible. Because love is eternal, death need not be viewed fearfully.” Click HERE to read more about Principle 1 of AH.  

Principle 2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go Of Fear

In order for us to feel inner peace, we first have to make it our single goal. We can then start to release all the obstacles that stand in our way.”

“We experience many emotions in our body. They are all related to fear, but to us they have many forms. Anger, jealousy, guilt, depression, or whatever, arise in us all the time.

It is important for us to know that we have a choice about how we want to deal with these feelings. We can become helpless and be a victim, or we can actually change these feelings. The mind is the most powerful tool we have and we can use it to change these hurtful feelings.

For us to do this, we must become both aware and willing to change. We must get in touch with our inner voice, the one that is connected to our higher self instead of our self that is governed by the ego. It is the voice inside that tells us our truth without judgment.

The next step is to go to the experience of the emotion. For instance, when we feel anger arise, it is very important to get in touch with it. This means that we experience it, acknowledge it, and are gentle with it. We in no way deny our anger because it is a very normal feeling and does not need to have a “bad” label put on it. Doing so only creates another emotion to deal with, that of guilt.

It is only when we truly get in touch with our own anger that we can begin to change it. This can actually be done in an instant. It does not have to be processed at great length. Sometimes it is not really necessary to know the “why” and “how.” These words can often lead to more turmoil in our lives.

An Illustration

When inner peace becomes our only goal, we can recognize that holding on to anger does not bring us peace of mind. An amazing woman came to the Center about ten years ago. She was in a devastated state as her nine-year-old daughter had been diagnosed with severe leukemia. She was in Dr. Jerry Jampolsky’s office, when she heard him say that she could actually, at this moment, choose peace instead of experiencing the pain she was in. She managed, somehow, to really hear his meaning and was able to instantly shift her perception.

This woman went on to became one of our most active volunteers at the Center for many years and was able to help dozens of parents who were going through what she went through. This does not mean that she said, “You can choose peace” to each person when they were completely devastated. It means that she was there for them wherever they were. And because of her own experience, she was able to rely on her own inner strength so that she could be of help in any way she was needed. Seeing the instant shift in the woman I just described was a remarkable experience for me. It was a lesson that told me, ‘nothing is impossible.'”

More About Attitudinal Healing

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. Many years ago, I joined my mentor, Jane, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. What a wonderful experience. Plus, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased).

The Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing:

  1. The Essence Of Our Being Is Love
  2. Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go Of Fear
  3. Giving And Receiving Are The Same
  4. We Can Let Go Of The Past And Of The Future
  5. Now Is The Only Time There Is And Each Instant Is For Giving
  6. We Can Learn To Love Ourselves And Others By Forgiving Rather Than Judging
  7. We Can Become Love Finders Rather Than Fault-Finders
  8. We Can Choose And Direct Ourselves To Be Peaceful Inside Regardless Of What Is Happening Outside
  9. We Are Students And Teachers To Each Other
  10. We Can Focus On The Whole Of Life Rather Than The Fragments
  11. Since Love Is Eternal, Death Need Not Be Viewed As Fearful
  12. We Can Always Perceive Others As Either Loving Or Fearful And Giving A Call Of Help For Love.

Source material: Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Jerry Jampolsky and AH Review Principles Booklet

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available from Amazon HERE or Barnes and Noble HERE. PAPERBACK ($9.99) E-BOOK ($4.99) These low prices last through March, so get your copy now!
Thank you for helping readers find Love More Now by POSTING a REVIEW on Amazon.

Gigi Langer has been sober 37 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now

Attitudinal Healing Saved My A-s!

At a particularly difficult time in my life, my grad school mentor, Jane Stallings, sent me Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Jerry Jampolsky, the founder of Attitudinal HealingI was in my third marriage and already found myself drinking and getting into trouble.

After skimming the book, I got the audio version and listened to it every day as I drove my green VW bug to and from work, hoping that something would help me escape my misery. I guess those ideas seeped in, because within a year I had quit drinking and begun my spiritual path. Amazing! 

By applying the principles of Attitudinal Healing (plus taking the actions suggested in the Twelve Steps), I have to say, my life is nothing short of miraculous!  

What is Attitudinal Healing?

Attitudinal Healing is based on the principle that it is not other people or situations that cause us to be upset. Rather, it is our own thoughts and attitudes about those things that are responsible for our distress. 

Healing results when we concentrate on changing our own attitudes rather than trying to change the attitudes of others. Thus, the goal of Attitudinal Healing is self-healing in the face of each life challenge.

Attitudinal Healing is not a religion, nor is it religious. People from many cultures, faiths, and denominations, as well as those who follow no faith at all are welcome to participate.” (Love Is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald Jampolsky, M.D.)


Many years after receiving this book, I joined my mentor, Jane, in California to become a facilitator for Attitudinal Healing groups. What a wonderful experience. Plus, I got to meet Jerry Jampolsky (now deceased).

You can easily find Attitudinal Healing groups by searching in your area. They are helpful for anyone who is struggling with any life situation. 

The Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing

  • The Essence Of Our Being Is Love
  • Health Is Inner Peace, Healing Is Letting Go Of Fear
  • We Can Let Go Of The Past And Of The Future
  • Now Is The Only Time There Is And Each Instant Is For Giving
  • We Can Learn To Love Ourselves And Others By Forgiving Rather Than Judging
  • We Can Become Love Finders Rather Than Fault-Finders
  • We Can Choose And Direct Ourselves To Be Peaceful Inside Regardless Of What Is Happening Outside
  • We Are Students And Teachers To Each Other
  • We Can Focus On The Whole Of Life Rather Than The Fragments
  • Since Love Is Eternal, Death Need Not Be Viewed As Fearful
  • We Can Always Perceive Others As Either Loving Or Fearful And Giving A Call Of Help For Love

These twelve spiritual principles lead us toward love and away from fear. We think of the application of these principles as “practical spirituality” that can be used in every aspect of our lives. There is not one area where they do not apply. As we learn to change our attitudes and change our minds, we change our lives.

Some of the Possible Benefits of Attitudinal Healing

  • Experiencing ourselves as love.
  • Believing we deserve happiness and inner peace.
  • Becoming a love finder rather than a fault finder.
  • Having an attitude of gratitude and always counting our blessings.
  • Focusing on the essence of others rather than on their appearances.
  • Walking through life more lightly.
  • Laughing more through judging less.
  • Living in a consciousness of giving rather than getting.
  • Recognizing that there is something greater than ourselves.
  • Successfully letting go of fear, judgments, guilt, being a victim, fear of death, unforgiving thoughts, pain, blame, fear of the past and future, being a fault finder, withholding love from anyone including ourselves, our need to assign guilt or innocence, complaining and listing our hurts, fear of intimacy, and especially the need to suffer.

If you’ve read any of my books, you’ll recognize the profound influence attitudinal healing has had on my life! I’ll be forever grateful for these lessons along with those from the Twelve Steps.

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Easter.

gigi langer worry less now
worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE $8.95 free US shipping.

Love More Now: Facing Life’s Challenges with an Open Heart is now available in
  -PAPERBACK ($9.99) and
  -E-BOOK ($4.99)
from Amazon HERE or
Barnes and Noble HERE.

These low prices last through February, so get your copy now!
Thank you SO MUCH for helping readers find Love More Now!

PRESENTING . . . JAMIE BRICKHOUSE!

When I signed up for a podcast interview with Jamie (link here & below ), I had no idea he was such a famous New York City entertainer.

I’ll admit it: I’ve become a bit star-struck! When you read his bio, you’ll see why.

I just finished Jamie’s excellent book, Dangerous When Wet , and I loved it! What a whirlwind life he’s had!

All about Jamie


“Called a natural raconteur by the Washington PostJamie Brickhouse  is a writer, comedic storyteller, TikTok sensation, podcast host, and public speaker. He’s the author of the critically acclaimed Dangerous When Wet: A Memoir of Booze Sex and My Mother (St. Martin’s Press). It’s “Required Reading” in Mary Karr’s The Art of Memoir; an Amazon Editors’ Pick (Biographies & Memoirs), an Amazon “Best Book of May 2015,” and a Book Chase “2015 Nonfiction Top 10.” You might enjoy this video of Jamie talking about his book: https://images.app.goo.gl/3GvgADxwbaeqsmK39

Brickhouse’s daily TikTok #storiesinheels videos in which he tells a true story have over 4 million views, 560k likes, and nearly 50,000 followers. He is the host of the weekly podcast, Sober Podcast, part of Sober Network. His essays and articles have been published in the New York Times, International Herald Tribune, Washington Post, The Daily Beast, Salon, Interview, Out, Huffington Post, among many others

An internationally recognized storyteller, Brickhouse tours two award-winning, critically acclaimed solo shows based on Dangerous When Wet and I Favor My Daddy: A Tale of Two Sissies, his forthcoming memoir. He has recorded voices on Beavis Butthead, interviewed Matthew McConaughey, has appeared on PBS-TV’s Stories from the Stage, and is a 4-time Moth Storytelling champion and a National Storytelling Network Grand Slam champ.

Brickhouse spent over two decades in the publishing industry, and is the founder and CEO of redBrick Agency, a lecture bureau for authors. A native of Beaumont, Texas, he is a graduate of Trinity University (San Antonio) and the Radcliffe Publishing Course (now the Columbia Publishing Course). Brickhouse lives in New York City with his husband Michael.

Here’s Our Interview

Click on this link for the Apple podcast. Also on Spotify, Amazon, etc.

In our 25 minutes together, Jamie asked me these questions:
1) How do I maintain my sobriety?
2) Prayer & meditation: explain how I do it & why we benefit
3) What drove me to get a PhD from Stanford?
4) What’s my greatest achievement?
5) What has been my most difficult struggle in sobriety?
6) Last question was about my book.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sober-podcast/id1585719082?i=1000581225397

gigi langer worry less now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Easter.

worry less now gigi langer

Gigi’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, describes how to correct the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful growth tools. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Discounted, personally signed Paperback with free Workbook PDF HERE)

GOTTA PROBLEM? Refrain, Reflect, Release, Respond

When we finally stop trying to fix our challenges on our own, the golden moment of surrender arrives. We realize we must find a way to reconnect with the wisdom of our true self. But how do we do that? First, we refrain from acting.

Then we reflect on our part in the difficulty; next we marshal Loving Energy to release us from the negativity blocking our hearts. Finally, from the calm of our true self, we respond in the best way for all involved.

[from my new book, Love More Now: Reflections on Open-Hearted Living, coming soon!]

Refraining from Taking Direct Action
 
Ironically, when faced with a life challenge, our best “action” is to refrain from acting. We do nothing—for now. Let’s admit it; we often try for a quick fix just so our icky feelings will go away. We want to feel better now rather than reflecting on our part in the situation. In most cases, however, acting too soon produces harmful words and actions that we never intended. Why? Because we were driven by fear and not by love.
 
To avoid this trap, we learn to PAUSE: Pause Action Until Serenity Emerges. This serenity comes from reflecting on our part and then choosing to open our hearts, thus releasing us from the grip of our fears. From this place of peace arise all the solutions we will ever need. But what do we DO while we’re pausing?
 
First, it’s helpful to cultivate self-compassion by opening our heart to ourselves. After all, we may feel shame about being in such a difficulty, spawning whispered lies of self-condemnation: Why can’t I handle this better? I should know how to fix this! What’s wrong with me? Or, we might point the finger toward others in a blame-game: It’s their fault! I am right and they’re wrong. They should change. None of this makes us feel any better.
 
On the contrary, we can reassure ourselves that we are merely imperfect human beings doing the best we can. For example, telling ourselves, Yes, this is hard, and we’re upset. That’s okay, this often happens in life, and we’ve gotten through hard times before. Let’s remember, we’ve got our true self and others’ Loving Energy to help us.
 
Remember too the lesson taught by so many wisdom traditions: even though our true self is perfect Love, our human self is on this earth to learn to be as loving as possible. This is a tall order, indeed, for those of us mired in fear. If we’re awake and willing, however, we learn to “render the barriers to love harmless,” as described in the opening quotation.
 
Reflecting on My Part
 
As we pause and refrain from action, we reflect on our part in the situation: What is it about me that makes this so difficult? Three of the twelve steps of AA suggest using specific questions to examine our part in any difficulty. Such questions help us consider how our thoughts, feelings, and patterns might be responsible for our own unhappiness. The list below is derived from the five shortcomings we examined in Chapter 4, and the six coping patterns listed in Chapter 3.  
 
We can think of these areas as “soft-spots” in our human personalities that close our hearts to ourselves and others, thus blocking Loving Energy from healing our difficulties. Yet, it is this very Loving Energy that can release these blockages, freeing us to give and receive love.
 
As you read each question below, take a moment to reflect on it. Then, if it seems relevant to your current problems, make note of it.  Whom or what am I resenting, blaming, or criticizing? What are they “depriving” me of?What have I been afraid of, not trusting the Loving Power of my true self?Where have I been self-centered, thinking only of getting my own needs met?How have I been lying to myself? What have I not wanted to look at?What self-condemning beliefs have I held about myself? Are they really true?How have I been a caretaker by putting another’s needs above my own best interests?Do I sometimes feel like a martyr—a victim of circumstances beyond my control?How have I been a perfectionist, expecting myself and others to never make mistakes?How have I been people-pleasing by pretending to be what others want me to be?How have I been a workaholic, placing work above my relationships and health?How have I been a tap dancer, unwilling to commit to a program of growth and healing? 
After writing down a few of the most glaring items, it will be most helpful to list for each one: a) what you were trying to gain by holding on to it (e.g., material gain, emotional security, prestige, or sexual needs), b) the negative consequences for you and others of holding on to this soft spot, and c) what your life could be like if you didn’t have this soft spot. Now it’s time to enlist our Loving Power and our healthy, growth partners to release us from these shortcomings.
 
Releasing Blocks to Love

First, recall that I’ve said repeatedly that we cannot become more loving by doing it all alone, unaided by the guidance of healthy growth partners. Second, we can’t grow out of our self-defeating habits without the help of Loving power.
 
Reading this last sentence, you might be wondering, Wait a minute. If these flaws have been blocking the flow of love in my life, then how can that same love heal them? It’s important to acknowledge that your Loving Energy has never left you and that it is always available to you. We only believed we lost it and reinforced those beliefs through our self-defeating fears.
 
Happily, to “render the barriers to love harmless,” all we have to do is ask for help. As simple as that! Unfortunately, most of us have to get pretty uncomfortable before we surrender our old ways and open ourselves to another way of living. In this golden moment, Loving Power is right there ready to help us remove these barriers to love.
 
To harness this love, we need only consistently stream Loving power into our hearts. Many of us  do this by using any or all of the following practices on a daily basis: meditation, prayer for self and others, affirmations and visualization, mindfulness/being in the now, kindness/giving love, and gratitude lists. Some of the other practices I use when a persistent pattern needs a direct infusion of healing are:  thought-switching (e.g., the Golden Key), Master Mind group, tapping, EMDR, Radical Forgiveness, and setting boundaries with others.
 
Responding in The Best Way for All

One of my favorite promises in Twelve-Step literature is “We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.” As we clear out the blockages to love, we begin to notice this intuitive sense emerging from our true self, nudging us in the best direction for all.

It’s rather mysterious because this wisdom doesn’t necessarily come from some pre-determined script we’ve created in our minds. It’s more likely that we find ourselves acting differently or thinking differently, and it’s only after the fact we can see the changes. How could it be any different if we’ve been filling our minds with heart-opening loving thoughts and feelings? It’s pretty simple: the more make space for love to enter our hearts, the more our lives begin to thrive in the most amazing ways.

 
Gigi Langer Worry Less NowBook Deal for You and Friends I’m now mailing out personally signed copies of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now for only $8.95 (free shipping within USA), so please send this link to your friends and family. GigiLanger.com/buy (Please) Post Your Review 
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Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry” who writes, speaks, and encourages others to overcome their stress, addictions, and negative thinking. Her PhD is from Stanford University. Get a discounted signed copy of Gigi’s award-winning book, “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” (4.8 stars Amazon) ($8.95) Includes FREE PDF WORKBOOK CLICK <<HERE >>       https://GigiLanger.com/buy
Also available in e-book and audiobook formats.