Grievances–grudges, judgment, criticism, resentment, blame, disapproval, or attackâblock us from happiness and serenity.
âWell I donât DO those things,â
You might think this, and youâre probably right. But what about the condemning attitudes living in our minds? Can any of us say we donât constantly judge othersâ words and actions? Of course we do.
It sounds like this: âIf I were him, I wouldnât do that.â âWhy canât she just get along with us? Whatâs wrong with her?â âThey should not be doing that; theyâre corrupt.â
The Problem with Grievances
Even though such statements seem true, the problem is that weâre focusing on the negative rather than the positive.
When we choose to hold a grievance, we canât see the other personâs true selfâthe purity of their spirit. Further, if we canât see the goodness in them, we canât claim it for ourselves. What we send out to others comes back to us; itâs that simple.
Many of us deny our own negativity by numbing ourselves with substances or other unhealthy habitsâa dead end to positive growth. Even those trying to be more positive still struggle with inherent dark thoughts. I certainly do.
The good news is that Iâve found so many ways to escape my mindâs tendency to criticize and judge. You can find them in my book, âWorry Less Now,â and in my blog.
How to Overcome A Grievance
Hereâs a technique that showed up today as I read Lesson 78, âLet miracles replace all grievances,â from A Course in Miracles. First I was to recall all my negative thoughts about an important person in my life: what that person had done, their âweaknesses,â and other offenses. Then I was to ask spirit to help me see him through the eyes of loveââLet your mind be shown the light in him beyond your grievances.â Then it suggested that I thank this person for prompting my negativity and discomfort so that I could release it and be peaceful and happy.
I just did the exercise as directed. As I chose to focus on the perfection of this personâs spirit rather than the images my mind had conjured, I found a deep peace creep over me. I could hardly remember what I thought was âwrong,â and I felt a loving connection with the person. As a result, I felt the light of spirit growing in myself.
The miracle of replacing fear with love had occurred. Amen.
I would love to hear from you: What gets in the way of your serenity? How do you overcome grievances or grudges?
Gigi Langer has been clean and sober for 33 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Sheâs a sought-after speaker and retreat leader who has helped thousands improve their lives at work and at home.
Read her blog here or order her award-winning book (50 Ways to Worry Less Now) from Barnes and Noble, Amazon (5 stars), and all e-book vendors.
What would 2019 be like if we let go of all complaints and resentments? If we could admit that perhaps weâre not always right, and released the wounds and conflicts of the past? What if, when we thought of a person we didnât like, we refused to gossip, criticize, or hate?
Peace, Clarity, and Connection.  5-stars on Amazon. Use â20lessnowâ code 