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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

Tag: codependency

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THE DREADED “SHOULDS”

How often do the words should, must, or ought go through your mind?”

For example:

  • My daughter should stop using drugs.
  • This person, (fill in the blank), must be nicer to me.
  • The mayor (or president, legislator, etc.) is wrong and ought to (fill in the blank).
  • I should be healthy and happy and never experience troubling situations.

Unenforceable Rules

According to Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, these “shoulds” are examples of unenforceable rules: They demand an outcome you believe must come true, but over which you have no control. Such inflexible beliefs make us helpless, angry, hurt, hopeless or bitter.

Although holding an unenforceable rule may feel good–even noble–it doesn’t mean you can make it happen. In the first example, the daughter should stop using drugs, but no matter how persuasive the mother’s arguments, she doesn’t have the power to make her daughter stop.

The mother does, however, have control over her own choices and behavior. She can seek help from a therapist or Al-Anon, and claim a positive power to work in the situation. Then she might choose a goal for how she wants to act and feel, detach from the result, and use growth tools for her own peace of mind, regardless of her daughter’s choices.

Overcoming My Own “Shoulds”

One of my own unenforceable rules became clear as I was writing this book. When my mother passed away, I found it difficult to write and became discouraged by my lack of progress.

When I honestly faced the belief that I must complete the book by a certain date, I became willing to see it differently. After using Tool 6, Is It True? I turned my whispered lie around to “I will finish writing the book at the perfect time.” In turn, I became more flexible and kinder with myself.

The essence of happiness is peacefully allowing life to unfold. Nothing becomes a live-or-die situation because you know your loving power is working things out, with results that may far surpass your greatest hopes.

(Excerpt taken from page 56-57 of Gigi Langer’s award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is a seasoned author and popular speaker who has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she does occasionally overindulge in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels.

Worry Less Now by Gigi Langer

Her book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now (available HERE in paperback, e-book, & audiobook) has gained rave reviews (4.8 on Amazon) and a publishing award.

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WATCH US ON “BIZZY LIVING SOBER”

This is such a cool video podcast for recovering people! It’s a lot of fun and so helpful to anyone struggling with substance abuse.

Thanks to Bizzy for our conversation about how to stay sober in spite of our STINKIN thinkin!

📣 Here it is! Click on the link, not the photo 😘

http://busylivingsober.com/podcasts/2020/7/9/episode-183-author-gigi-langer

Elizabeth L. “Bizzy” Chance, CRS, is the founder and owner of Busy Living SoberTM, a network dedicated to bringing addiction out of the shadows and educating society that addiction is a disease, not who you are. She is a leading expert in the field of recovery management, widely known for her work as a consultant, family coach, and her social media presence. 

Elizabeth earned her certification as a Certified Recovery Specialist (CRS) from the state of Pennsylvania. She is a graduate of George Washington University with a degree in communications, and her work experience includes time at QVC and CBS Television. 

Elizabeth is in long-term recovery herself over a decade. Hence, she feels able to form a compassionate and meaningful bond with addicts. She has always gravitated towards anyone new to recovery because of her own personal story,  which gives her an innate sense for helping them achieve and maintain recovery. 

Busy Living SoberTM is to eliminate the shame of addiction through open and honest communication. 

Elizabeth currently resides in Wayne, Pennsylvania with her husband and three teenage children. 

“The definition of addiction is the inability to control one’s use over a substance.”

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SIX REASONS TO PRAY 🙏

Before I got sober, I didn’t pray, unless you count uttering in desperation, “Help me!”

Even though I didn’t know what it meant, I memorized the Lord’s prayer, just to fit in at my best friend’s church.


** I had no idea that connecting regularly with a Higher Power (HP) could solve my troubles and fears. **

My favorite author, Karen Casey, writes:
“(1) Prayer promises relief when we are anxious.
(2) Prayer connects us with our Higher Power when we feel isolated and full of fear.
(3) Prayer frees our minds from the obsession to plan other people’s lives.
(4) Prayer helps us take action when we feel compelled to change the circumstances of our lives.
(5) Prayer becomes a wonderful resource to draw on when living through our painful moments.
(6) And prayer gives us the willingness to accept God’s solution for every problem that plagues us.” (from “A Life of My Own”)


My friends say that praying is asking, and meditation is listening to the God of our understanding. So, I meditate to gain all the wise direction I can get! (I also attend meetings, do service work, and read inspiring spiritual texts to keep myself balanced and stress-free).

** HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN YOUR CONSCIOUS CONTACT WITH YOUR HP?

Gigi Langer Gigi Langer is a former teacher who quit drinking, only to find that her negative thinking, judging, and fears kept her in a cycle of worry, codependency, chronic pain, perfectionism, and overworking. Her award-winning book “50 Ways to Worry Less Now” (Amazon 4.8 stars) is available in paper, e-book, and audiobook. Honest, practical, simple. Relevant to anyone! GigiLanger.com/buy

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JOIN THE “WORRY LESS NOW” AUDIOBOOK LAUNCH!

Well, the time has finally come! After six months of work, next week Robin Waters (narrator) and I are releasing the 6-hour audiobook for 50 Ways to Worry Less Now! You might have a few questions, so here’s a brief Q & A.

If it’s coming out this week, then why does the banner above say Oct. 22-28? This week is the “soft launch” (without a ton of promotion), but you can get it as soon as it goes “live” on Amazon, Audible, or i-tunes. The “full launch” is October 22-28 with all the hoopla of a blog tour.

What’s a blog tour? I’ve hired Jess at Audiobookworm to schedule “hosts” to feature the audiobook on their blogs or websites between Oct 22 – 28. Ideally, this burst of promotion sells a lot of books in a short amount of time, resulting in “bestseller status” on Amazon/Audible.

How can I help? Even if you don’t have a website or blog, you can still do a LOT. And we’d really appreciate it! You can 1) post reviews of the audiobook or 2) participate in the online blog tour.

1) LISTEN TO & REVIEW THE AUDIOBOOK. (I offered a free copy to the first 20 who sign up; but I still have a few more available. If you want one, contact me.) Please post reviews on Audible, Amazon or i-tunes; Goodreads; and all your social media sites. (You can do this anytime.)

2) JOIN THE Oct. 22-26 BLOG TOUR (as a “Host”). To participate, you need your own website (or blog) about Audiobooks, Recovery, or Wellness. During the tour week, you post a review, &/OR audio excerpt, &/OR the cover and description, &/OR a written interview with me. Or, if you wish, I’ll even contribute an article for your blog! ** To sign up as a host: Click HERE between Sept. 22 – Oct. 15, and Jess will send you all the information. Her directions are very clear and she’s so kind. You’ll receive the free audiobook, plus you’ll be eligible to win a free giveaway (your choice of a paperback of “Worry Less Now” with a Workbook, or 2 Skype personal coaching sessions with me).

PS. YOU ALREADY KNOW ME, BUT HOW ‘BOUT OUR AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR, ROBIN WATERS? You may recall that I tried to begin narrating the book myself, but soon found the technology plus all those hours in a closet too daunting! So, I went in search of a narrator and found the perfect person.

Robin Waters grew up in Southern California and left home early to get professional theatrical training and pursue her dream. In her early twenties, she found a new passion–holistic health–and shifted her focus to become a wellness educator.

She currently lives in Canada where she stays busy writing, demonstrating how to cook healthy food, and leading workshops and women’s circles. She loves cuddling and reading out loud with her son and daughter. Now that they are older, she has returned to her first loves of narrating and performance. There is something magical about connecting with others through voice and sharing the human experience with good storytelling and characters. 

Partnering with Gigi to produce this book was a gift, as it was a beautiful combination of her two passions. She has spent a lifetime overcoming worry/anxiety, and finding herself through expression and connection. She hopes this audiobook brings you more inner peace and is a comfort on your journey toward a vibrant life.

Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. She is an acclaimed teacher, author, and speaker who has helped thousands improve their lives at home and work. Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years, although she does occasionally overindulge in Ghirardelli chocolate and historical novels. She lives happily in Michigan with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

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