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Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

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WHAT DOES “THY WILL BE DONE” MEAN?

In so many of our prayers we say, “Thy will be done.”

But what does that really mean? 

Our 12-step literature tells us that “my will and my life” refer to “my thoughts and my actions.”

So, when I say, “Thy Will be done,” I’m asking to align my thoughts with God‘s mind. 

Today’s Course in Miracles lesson (45) states, “God is the mind with which I think.”

And it asks me to practice connecting with my Higher Power’s mind as the only source of my thinking. 

In the suggested exercise, we look past the ego’s fearful, resentful, judging, selfish thoughts, and choose instead to tune into Universal Intelligence’s thoughts. 

 So, “doing God‘s will” is choosing to think God‘s thoughts, and to be still long enough to ask for those thoughts instead of our fearful mind’s inventions.

 Simple, aye? WHAT DOES “THY WILL BE DONE” MEAN TO YOU??

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

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A VICIOUS LIE: “HE/SHE DOESN’T LOVE ME ENOUGH”

One of our common character flaws screams, “They don’t love me, so, I must not be worthy of love.” Not true!

This whispered lie (“If they did love me, they would (or wouldn’t) be doing this, saying this, etc.”) sets us up for failed relationships, addiction, codependency, and lots of “not enough” suffering. But, if we’re lucky, we embark on a quest to heal such “unenforceable rules.”

We come to realize we have no control over how others treat us (especially our loved ones). As we let go of the selfish need to have things “our way,” we learn to turn to the only reliable source of love: God, Higher Power, and the healthy people who stream that divine love into us.

An Example of Healing “He/She Doesn’t Love Me”

Quite often, our families of origin couldn’t give us the love and acceptance we so desperately sought. So we launched on a lifelong search, “looking for love in all the wrong places,” or “going to the hardware store expecting to buy milk.” And our many disappointments only reinforced our false belief that “I’m just not worthy of love.”

Years ago, one of my sponsees was working on Steps 4-6 and discovered that she had set herself up for a life of victimhood by believing the whispered lie, ‘Noone loves me (in the way I want).”

At the same time, she was taking a course that asked her to request from her loved ones a list of her positive attributes. As she read her mother’s list, it felt “like a stab in the gut” because it referred to her relapses, and implied she was better at loving her pets than her family. When my sponsee asked for feedback, here’s what I wrote:

  • Yes. There it is in black & white. It verifies what you’ve perceived all along. Ouch.
  • She’s right in implying that your family relationships have been out of kilter. Alcoholism and old whispered lies (character flaws) do that. That’s why we’re seeking healing through Steps 6-7.
  • This is perfect step 6 timing. The perception of “not being lovable” has run its course and is ready to be removed by God. And in Step 7, Higher Power will help you to see it differently,
  • Remember that she’s been scared witless by the relapse this past year. She’s human, and she’s a mother who loves you desperately, while struggling to handle her fear.
  • Please do this
    1) Bless her & pray that she have everything that will make her happy
    2) List all of her positive qualities.
  • Next time we meet, we’ll be saying the Step 7 prayer about this and some other things you discovered in your fifth step. Good Work!!!
  • We’ll know this pattern is healed when rather quickly, regardless of what she says or does, you’ll be able to see the love under her words. It may take a little time, but it will happen. Freedom from resentments…Yay!

My Worth Is Established by God

Early on in the process of healing my low self-esteem and distrust of love, I learned to say this “mantra” over and over again. It really helps me, even today! “Only God establishes my worth.”

We can take this to the bank, because we will receive this love not only from God, but through the people He/She picks. Quite often these are not family members or others your self-centered ego tells you “should” love you. They’re the perfect people, and I’m so happy to be one of lucky ones God selected to love my sponsee and all of you! 💕

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

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TRICIA LEWIS & ME: RECOVERY HAPPY HOUR PODCAST “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE”

Thanks to Tricia Lewis for featuring me on her very cool PODCAST, Recovery Happy Hour. Tricia was emotionally and physically addicted to alcohol and took her last drink in November of 2016. As she says, “a life without booze is so much better than I ever imagined.” 

TRICIA’S OPENING TO THE RECOVERY HAPPY HOUR EPISODE

“How often do you get the chance to talk with someone who has almost 35 years of sobriety?? What an episode to end the year on!

“On Episode 118, we’re talking with Gigi Langer, PhD. Her recovery began with a 12 Step program but the healing came with tons of other modalities over the last few decades. This is an episode jam packed with resources, so make sure you check out the show notes for links! Also, I talked about our “sliding doors” moments in today’s introduction, and how one decision to quit drinking can change the outcome of your life in ways beyond your comprehension.“

TO LISTEN TO ME ON RECOVERY HAPPY HOUR, JUST CLICK HERE

https://recoveryhappyhour.libsyn.com/118-its-a-wonderful-life-gigi?fbclid=IwAR2vVPfUsClXXlVcWifpo-2wP8lKqSncrN9ko7Rd8VM4bcgjdrvBqbzFTPM

A BIG ANNIVERSARY!

I’m so grateful to announce that on January 11th, I celebrated 35 years of continuous sobriety. What a gift! But I’ve had to work for it through meetings, reading, service, and praying & meditating. The biggest contributors, however, have been my sponsors who helped me work the 12 steps, and my female “posse” of recovering women who have stuck by me through think and thin. In addition to these wonderful influences, I’ve had lots of help from therapists, mastermind partners, Unity church, energy workers, and doctors. The biggest “thank you” of all goes to my Higher Power, who has restored me to my true spiritual self.

Gigi Langer Worry Less Now

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat, Murphy.

In Worry Less Now, Gigi shares her personal journey as a prisoner of fear, worry, and substance abuse, along with practical techniques anyone can use. Award-winner with rave reviews. Amazon rating: 4.9 stars.

Get special offers on the paperback, e-book, and audiobook HERE.

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FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS!

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS THAT JUST CARRY YOU AWAY AND COLOR YOUR WHOLE WORLD GRAY? Don’t worry! Such feelings are often created by fearful thoughts that aren’t even true.

SO, HERE’S THE TRUTH: We don’t have the means to make people and things exactly as we want them. We just aren’t that powerful.

For example, we live in the wreckage of our future (“Its going to be awful!”) or we create “unenforceable rules” (“This should (or should not happen”). Often, we try to change the past by thinking how it “could have” been better.

Such thoughts are driven by the fear-driven belief that, if we just think long and hard enough, we can protect ourselves (and our loved ones) from pain and harm.

HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: We can find peace of mind and contentment in the midst of our fearful feelings and thoughts. Why? BECAUSE WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT FILLS OUR MIND.

HOW? Meditation, walks outside, stretching, yoga, prayer, reading or watching inspiring books/movies, 12-step work, spiritual practices, energy work, and thought-correction can all soothe our most difficult feelings. Good healthy friends or counselors really help too.

When we get still and listen to our inner wisdom (or that of another), we receive the comfort of ACCEPTANCE (non-attachment to specific outcomes). Further, we find ways to address those problems that still bother us—IF they are still bothering us (quite often, they’ve shrunken down to nothing!).

NEXT TIME YOUR FEELINGS are having a hissy fit, stand apart from them for a moment to recognize they’re mostly a result of inaccurate and disturbing thoughts. Then, ask yourself, “What healthy actions can I take to soothe my mind and body?” And then, do that!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITE WAYS OF SOOTHING UPSET FEELINGS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THANKS!!

Worry Less Now; Gigi Langer

Gigi Langer has been sober 35 years, and holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education from Stanford University. Formerly crowned the “Queen of Worry,” Gigi resigned her post many years ago and now lives happily in Florida with her husband, Peter and her cat Murphy.

My award-winning book, 50 Ways to Worry Less Now describes how to reject the faulty thinking leading to addiction, dysfunctional relationships, perfectionism, and worry about loved ones. Check out the practical directions, personal stories, and other helpful suggestions. Amazon: 4.8 stars (Buy Paperback, e-book, OR audiobook HERE)

REVIEW by Karen Casey, best-selling author of Each Day a New Beginning (Hazelden) “Even though I have been in recovery for more than 4 decades, and didn’t think another self-help book would make it to my treasured list, I was wrong. This book is a winner.”

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