Would You Like to Worry Less Now?
If you are anything like me, your mind’s default setting seems to be the “worry and fear channel.”
Do you suffer from worry about relationship difficulties, family issues, excessive eating, overworking, ongoing pain, illness, financial woes, addictions, or damaging anger? Do you want to escape your stressful thoughts about past disappointments or the future?
Are you seeking freedom from depression, a general sense of discontent, or a low self-worth? Up until now, you may have been trying to change these damaging patterns with the same old frustrating results.
The good news is: You don’t have to be a prisoner of your worries, no matter what is going on in your life. Here you’ll learn how to use Four Strategies and related tools to overcome negative thinking, and gain the ability to:
- PEACE. Manage life’s challenges with wisdom, hope, and gratitude–no matter what is going on.
- CLARITY. Discover your true self. Fulfill your dreams without limits.
- CONNECTION. Create relationships that blossom and thrive. Serve others in their growth.
What’s pleasantly surprising is that you don’t have to use the Four Strategies or any of the other tools perfectly. You merely need to exert a consistent, honest attempt to apply the ones that appeal to you.
This book shares with you what I’ve learned from my training in psychology, as well as over thirty years of applying tools from recovery programs, cognitive therapy, energy work, scientific literature, and a variety of spiritual teachings. I have condensed my insights in the Four Strategies to overcome worry, fear, and negative thinking. I also offer you 50 concrete tools to gain peace of mind and guidance during your troubling times.
Although my story happens to include substance abuse, any number of difficulties can be conquered through the Four Strategies and 50 tools. Here’s a story of where my healing began.
By the time I was 36, I had become a prisoner of fear and worry. I had a new doctorate in educational psychology from Stanford University, and a college teaching position in Michigan. Yet I was more miserable than I’d ever been in my life.
One afternoon, I walked into my favorite tavern and sat at the bar. As I contemplated my face through the bottles lined along the mirror, I wondered, “How could I have gotten to this place again? I’ve done this too many times, with too many men.”
It didn’t matter that my third husband was at home waiting for me. I didn’t care that I would be driving home in a drunken stupor. I only knew that I would stay there until the pain was dulled—until the beer, sex, and drugs had driven it away.
Shafts of sunlight pierced the blinds just as they had at my favorite bar back at Stanford. Eventually, a couple of guys in business suits came in and sat near me. I thought one of them was rather attractive, so I struck up a conversation. During the next hour, we chatted and ordered a few more drinks.
When our talk escalated into flirtation, I called home and fed my husband a story about being out with some of my students. A few hours after that, I called and said that I wouldn’t be home until quite late. Then I left with the guy I’d picked up. We went to buy drugs, and then drove to his home and had sex. Only through good fortune did I make it home safely at 2:00 a.m. I covered up my misadventures with even more lies the next morning.
Disgusted by my behavior, I decided I needed help and went to a therapist. After a few sessions, his approach wasn’t helping me. I did, however, receive one gift when I asked his secretary to suggested a new route to my office. Following her directions, I drove along a winding oak-bowered road and approached a placid river. Suddenly, something deep inside me said, “I’d love to live near a place just like this.”
Now, many years later (and after considerable work on myself), I find myself living in an old farmhouse along that same tree-lined road overlooking the river. My husband and I have a happy marriage, I’m at peace, and I can honestly say that I love my life.
How to Overcome Worry
How did I change from that miserable woman staring at those bottles in a bar to the contented person I am now? While my transformation has been deceptively simple, I can’t say it’s been easy. The secret? I’ve learned to overcome the negative thinking—what I call “whispered lies”–that cause my most devastating worries and fears.
Sitting in that bar, I was imprisoned by whispered lies such as, “I blew it again; I’m a bad person” and “If only my husband would change, I could be happy.” Such lies clogged my mind with blame, guilt, worry, and resentment. Even worse, they kept me from discovering and expressing my best self. It’s no wonder I was so unhappy.
This book teaches you how to use the Four Strategies to overcome your own whispered lies, fears, and worries. Since I’m a highly practical person, I’ve tried to make the ideas as clear and simple as possible. Because some of you prefer to learn through stories, I’ve included my own and others’ tales of challenges and victories. Finally, I’ve included tools and guided exercises to help you apply the suggested tools to your own worries.
My Hope For You
My sincerest wish is that you will overcome your own worries so you can be happy, relaxed, and fulfill your dreams. That, even during your troubling times, you will find peace, wisdom, and appropriate actions. Finally, I hope your victories will inspire others to overcome their own whispered lies and negative thinking.
As you read this book, I encourage you to try out the tools that appeal to you and take note of the ones you might try in the future. I would love to hear how you’re overcoming your own worries and challenges. Please contact me with any questions you might have.Follow me on social media