Gigi Langer

Worry Less Now!

 Love More Now!

STOP An Anxiety Attack

Anger Worry Less Now

I recently had an upsetting encounter with a friend when I kept trying to set a boundary that was repeatedly ignored, and then it escalated into a shouting match. Afterward, my body was shaking with anger and anxiety; I was in full-out fight-or-flight mode.

Choosing Self-Care

Although I was tempted to keep the drama going by replaying the incident and defending myself with thoughts of how I had been right, or what I “should” have said or done, I did something different.

I decided to calm myself down and enjoy the rest of the day. So, I went into a bathroom, closed the door, said a prayer, and did some energy tapping with soothing self-talk. Then I used the following technique to dissolve the adrenaline flooding my system. The whole process took about ten minutes, and afterward, I had a wonderful day.

The 5,4,3,2,1 Technique to Manage Anxiety

  • Take a few slow belly-inflating breathes and remind yourself that your body has just felt threatened and is reacting normally.
  • Name 5 things you can see around you (Examples: rug, painting)
  • Name 4 things you can feel (feet on the floor, cool air on the skin)
  • Name 3 things you can hear right now (a fan running, people’s voices outside)
  • Name 2 things you can smell right now (perfumed soap)
  • Name 1 good thing about yourself (“I am strong,” “I can help myself through this.”)

If you simply can’t focus, or if your body and mind haven’t yet settled down, take a few more belly-inflating breaths, and tell yourself that you can calm down. Then do the exercise again. It may take several minutes of repetition before the adrenaline dissipates.

According to independent.co.uk, “the trick, which relies on sensory awareness, is rooted in mindfulness – and apart from anxiety, it can help treat depression, addiction disorders, lower blood pressure, and relieve stress (Harvard University Helpguide.org).”

Whenever you suffer from incessant thinking, worry, tension, anger, or fear, this practice will return you to a more relaxed state. It sure worked for me!

Gigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now: Reject Negative Thinking to Find Peace, Clarity, and Connection, winner of the 2018 Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a Ph.D. in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

Beat the Procrastination Habit! Part 1

procrastination

I’ve struggled far too often with procrastination.

Today I’m telling myself I should get this next promotion up on my website. But it involves some new skills– and I find that a little intimidating; besides, look at all the other things begging for my attention! So, there the promotion reminder sits, day after day, becoming more and more drenched in guilt. I’ll get to it; right after I write this blog!

I’ve had a lot of experience with my procrastination habit, and I’ve found a few techniques that help me get even the most unpleasant tasks done. I hope they work for you, too. Read all the way to the bottom for one of the most powerful tips. Good luck!!

Make a list of the things you both want and need to get done in the near future. Breathe and tell yourself that you do Not have to get it all done today.

Identify today’s tasks. Put a star next to the ones that must be done today. For example, “order ___” or “shop for food” or “write ___ report.” Write these items on a new list so it doesn’t look so long and overwhelming. (Place a “?” next to ones you’re not sure about.)

Identify important, but not urgent, items. On the first big list, circle the ones that will ultimately improve your life or work. For example, “exercise” or “meet with ___ (an emotionally healthy friend)” or “write __proposal.”  Put those important-but-not-urgent items on a different list  and schedule them in your calendar. I sometimes place a “?” next to each one to indicate that if I don’t get to it, I can move it to another day. (But I never delete it!)

Here’s how to get started on today’s list.

1 Pick one easy thing to do first. Do that one thing and pat yourself on the back. Then go get a cup of coffee or tea. Smile!

2 Return to your work space and look at the item you just crossed off. Breathe in and feel good about doing that one thing. Do NOT think about the rest of the list for now.

3 Select another item and proceed as in steps 1 and 2.,

4 If you get tense, worried, or resistant: Go somewhere private. Take a few belly-inflating breaths and loosen your jaw and shoulders. Get quiet. Tell yourself, “I only need to do one more thing on this list. I can come back to it later. It will all get done.” Then return to the list and select another item.

Here’s another powerful tip: Set a timer for 5–15 minutes and tell yourself you can stop working on the list when it rings. If you feel like continuing when it rings, then set it for another 5–15 minutes. This “takes you off the hook” of thinking that the only success is finishing the entire list, and allows you to congratulate yourself for completing the 5–15 minutes instead.

I hope these tips help you beat the procrastination habit. They sure work for me!

worry less now reviewsGigi Langer is a former “Queen of Worry.” She’s also an educator, speaker, and author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now, winner of the Indie Excellence Award. Learn to defeat negative thinking, find inner peace, attain clarity, and improve relationships–no matter what is going on in your life! Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and e-book sites.

Langer holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford. As Georgea M. Langer, she’s published several books for teachers and school administrators.

CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE FROM YOUR WORRY-COMMITTEE!

worry less now

My friends say our worries & fears come from the not-so-helpful “committee in my head.” I call those negative voices “whispered lies.”

For instance, for too many years I believed “If I want to be liked, I must look good.” This whispered lie made me constantly worried about my appearance and behavior.

A few more examples include:

• “I’ll never have enough money.”

• “I always sabotage my success.”

• “Relationships just don’t work for me.”

• “We could all be happy if only Dad would stop drinking.”

Although many of our whispered lies concern ourselves, they often focus on our children, spouses, friends, or relatives—for instance, the last example about the father’s drinking. Other distressing beliefs involve institutions, as in “If the government would just change this policy, we’d all be better off.”

Even though it might be true that Dad ought to stop drinking or the government should make changes, these events have no control over your own happiness.

You can find peace of mind under any circumstance because you’re in charge of what you think about.

Most of our worries are fueled by false stories installed into our minds long ago, just waiting for opportunities to be confirmed. Wayne Dyer wrote that everything our brain “knows” is based on past experiences. Therefore, when an event resembles—even in a small way—an old painful one, our mind interprets the new event according to the long-standing negative belief.

Since most whispered lies live largely in our unconscious, we’re often unaware of them.

To illustrate the power of my own “negative committee’s” lies, consider why I failed at romantic love so many times during my twenties and thirties. I wanted to believe that love was possible for me, but my past had taught me the lie “I’m not worthy of love.”

This belief lived so strongly in my mind that, even when a man loved me deeply, I couldn’t believe it was true. After several months, I would become convinced that he wasn’t fulfilling my needs. These worries made me so demanding that I soon snuffed out all the happiness and joy of new love. When it ended, I’d tell myself, “I just don’t deserve love!” Until I got honest and started healing my faulty thinking, I had no hope of enjoying a happy relationship.

I’m so grateful for the therapy, recovery, psychological strategies, and spiritual tools that gave me freedom from my false beliefs. As a result I’m a pretty happy camper most days — AND I’ve been happily married for 29 years. So what if it’s my 4th husband??? He’s fabulous!

To learn how to win independence from your own committee’s whispered lies, check out my award-winning book 50 Ways to Worry Less Now.  Available through Amazon (5 stars), Barnes and Noble, and ebook formats.

Gigi Langer, PhD has helped thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work. She’s written several books for educators, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop leader.  Gigi holds a doctorate in Psychological Studies in Education  and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford.